I respect people who work. I know this sounds strange, but I’ve always held people who work for a living in high regard – regardless of where they work or the job they do. I think it’s a character thing, really. I think that those willing to put forth the effort of going to work should be rewarded. It’s why I don’t generally support welfare as an institution for more than short-term support.
That said, I expect those who are in a particular job to do their very best while they are “on the clock.” It’s how I approach my day in the office, and it’s what I expect out of others. For some, this means really working at accomplishing a project, for others, it means improving a system or piece of data, and for others still, it means providing the best customer service possible. I try my hardest to treat those serving me with the utmost respect. Just because someone’s bringing me a coffee doesn’t make me the master and him the slave.
With this in mind, I’m infuriated at the complete disaster that customer service has become in the past few years. Clerks who talk on their cell phones while you’re trying to buy a Snickers, rude employees at the movie theater and my personal favorite, cranky tollbooth collectors. I try and make a point to drive through the booths that are staffed – even if I have correct change – so that I can have some human interaction during my trip and offer a friendly “hi,” and/or “have a good day.” Almost invariably, they grunt at me to move on, even if there’s no one in line behind me.
This rant is being brought on by a series of events that happened to me last night at Best Buy. I was going to buy a new external portable hard drive for me to back up my files on my home computer to, so that I can take them off-site for storage, should our apartment burn down. (This is the very VERY best advice I can give you, the home computer user… back up your data on a Western Digital Passport hard drive, and then take that hard drive to a different physical location than your home. You’ll thank me if you have a fire or lighting-induced power surge.)
I got to the checkout line, which had five or six people in it, and waited my turn. There were two people ringing people out, both somewhere between 16 and 20, (the further away from those years I get, the harder it is to figure out someone’s age who’s still there.) The one young woman ringing up people’s purchases was really being efficient. She was moving people through her line brilliantly, while maintaining a friendly demeanor. The other guy was making a fool of himself. He would barely acknowledge the customer in front of him – with money in their hands – because he was talking to another post-adolescent girl wearing a BAE shirt. I crossed my fingers and hoped to get the efficient woman so I didn’t have to stand there like an awkward third party while I purchased my hard drive. Before you ask, the Best Buy in Salem has one of those bank-inspired common feeder lines, so I didn’t get to pick who ended up ringing me up.
“Can I help you?” Crap. Checkout guy, Chris, his nametag said, called me over. I sighed and walked over.
“So, are you going to go?” Chris inquired of …. let’s call her Stacy. Probably not her name, but let’s run with it.
“I don’t know, he’s being such a jerk about it. I told him I’d rather just hang out at home, but now he’s all pissed at me, and won’t answer his phone.” Stacy was obviously having some trouble with her gentleman caller, whoever he might be.
“Well, he’s being wicked rude. You should just tell him that you don’t want to, and that’s it. That’ll be $119.99.” Chris finally acknowledged my existence. “Don’t go.” And promptly forgot about it, as he continued his conversation with Stacy.
“I don’t know,” Stace (I like that, Stace. Let’s stick with that monosyllabic nickname) replied. You could tell she was torn over whether she should go to this mysterious whatever-they-were-talking-about.
Chris looked at me as I held out three Best Buy gift cards. I had them from my birthday, Christmas and something else, and was about to get a free hard drive. “Oh, a handful of gift cards, huh?” He was thrilled. Really.
He continued talking to Stacie as he went through the process of swiping my cards. I paid slightly less attention, but even a dog who’s hard of hearing could have figured out that the scenario was pretty bleak for Chris. Chris has a crush on Stace (still sticking with the nickname, here), who was probably a good friend of his since middle school, but Stacy (back to formal names) was dating the super-popular football captain or something, who treated her like crap, but drove her around in his awesome BMW. Chris was doing everything in his power to convince Stace to dump the loser by doing everything except saying “dump the loser,” and failing miserably.
Somewhere in this ridiculous teenage drama, Chris stopped swiping the gift cards, and just listened to Stace as his heart yearned to tell her how he cared about her, how he’d treat her like a goddess, and even let her sit on the handlebars of his schwinn.
“Hey, uh.. Chris,” Uh, oh.. I opened my mouth. “Listen up, Romeo. My wife is waiting in the car for me, and I should get out there before she dies of starvation. This young lady isn’t going to leave her boyfriend for you. She considers you a girlfriend, not a boyfriend, so would you mind at least cutting your losses and finish ringing me up so I can leave without talking to your manager about what a lousy job you’re doing?”
Chris blinked, swallowed harder than he had to, and swiped the third card, never once making eye contact with me. Stacy sort of sauntered away from the checkout line, but not too far - she was very suddenly and inexplicably interested in the rebate slips attached to wall behind her. $10.50 back on DVDs via mail in form? What a sweet deal. The silence was bliss.
Chris quickly put my receipt and drive in a bright yellow Best Buy bag (Turn on the FUN.. Best Buy!) and dropped it checkout table without so much as a word of thanks.
I picked it up and offered a polite “Thanks, man,” and winked at Stacy on my way out. I could clearly hear him utter “jerk,” under his breath.
I mean really, can you believe how rude some people are?
16.8.07
19.7.07
Un-Secret Service
So, Danielle have been married for over a month now, and Delta Force has been keeping their distance. I appreciate that, because it’s nice to have a honeymoon phase, you know?
A few weeks ago, I got to see one of the top candidates for President answer some (likely scripted) questions, as Rudy Giuliani came to Nashua for a “town-hall meeting.” First off, there is nothing “town-hall” or even “meeting” about what happened. It was a campaign stop, and he got to shake some hands and win some votes. It worked, from what I could tell of the other people sitting in the ball room at the Crown Plaza Hotel.
Mayor Giuliani’s entrance was pretty interesting. They blasted some music as he entered and shook some hands, and then faded it out as he took center stage to give a 20-30 minute monologue on health care and terrorism. I found it interesting that he’d put the two together, but I didn’t argue. It was entertaining, at the very least.
About the time the Honorable Mayor got to asking questions, I saw some movement among the darkly-suited men around the edge of the room that I had assumed were working security. They started sweeping the seats with their eyes; I could tell they were looking at faces. They seemed to settle on one guy in the middle of the right most section of chairs. They started talking back and forth and then fanned out around the back of the room. One of them over towards the left wall started fishing in his pocket for something, and came out with a handkerchief. It looked monogrammed, but I was a bit far away to see it in any detail.
“And so we will rise to that challenge, as Americans, as a nation not divided by..” the Mayor was going on about something really important, but I was positive what was happening in that room was more important than foreign policy right now. As the agent over on the left wall went to put the kerchief back in his pocket, I saw the insignia, a dark grey D and a green F overlapping. Delta Force.
I knew I had to get the guy they were watching out of there safely. His life depended on it. These Delta Force guys don’t quit, and they wanted this guy for something. I was briefly concerned where the secret service was, and how they had been subdued without anyone noticing, but after thinking about it, I decided that plot holes weren’t worth contemplating.. there was evil afoot.
The agents tightened their perimeter, slowly and cautiously. As far as I could tell, the target had no idea he was in danger. I scanned the room quickly - there wasn’t any way out without going through at least two Delta agents. I looked around the stage the mayor was on. He wasn’t being protected in close proximity.. maybe I could grab the guy and get behind the stage.. there had to be a door there, as that’s where Giuliani had come from. There would likely be agents back there, too. I started to panic for the guy. There was nothing I could do without sacrificing myself as well. My stomach tightened, and I started to get cold. I needed to do something – anything – for this guy, but there were no options. He was going to die, and I was going to be helpless to stop it.
One agent walked down the aisle and stopped at his row. I couldn’t believe how brazen they were being. I knew these guys were ruthless, but right here, in front of everyone? Most people, even people in that immediate area, were still focused on the candidate. “In fact, if they did say that in that report, then they’re wrong. It’s important that we know that the State department has an obligation to the American people to..” he continued his message. I watched, horrified, but unable to turn away as the agent scooted past people in the row of seats to end up right next to the target. The man, whose fate was now sealed, turned up to look at the agent, and he knew it as well as I did. It was over.
Everything at that point happened in slow motion. The agent bent down towards him, no emotion present at all in the steel grey eyes of the trained killer. He reached into his jacket, and paused for a second, as he must have been getting a better grip on his sidearm, or maybe it was stuck in the holster he was using. He started to slowly move his hand out of his jacket, but it was behind the target’s head, so I couldn’t see it. I braced for the gunshot and the consequential screams. I winced, and heard “Sir, you seem to have dropped your wallet in the lobby. Here it is. Have a good night.” Then, like the well-trained operative he was, he walked out of the row, down the aisle, and the rest of them pulled back, resuming their original positions around the wall.
I sat in stunned silence. They didn’t kill him. I sat back in my chair, blinked, and then took a bite of my sugar cookie with a pie chart of Pentagon spending waste on it. It wasn’t a very tasty cookie.
Once the Honorable Mayor had answered his last question of the evening, the emcee cranked out Rascall Flatts’ verion of “Life is a Highway,” as the mayor shook hands and made his way towards the door. As we filed out the back of the room, and walked away, one of the agents winked at me.
I just kept on walking.
A few weeks ago, I got to see one of the top candidates for President answer some (likely scripted) questions, as Rudy Giuliani came to Nashua for a “town-hall meeting.” First off, there is nothing “town-hall” or even “meeting” about what happened. It was a campaign stop, and he got to shake some hands and win some votes. It worked, from what I could tell of the other people sitting in the ball room at the Crown Plaza Hotel.
Mayor Giuliani’s entrance was pretty interesting. They blasted some music as he entered and shook some hands, and then faded it out as he took center stage to give a 20-30 minute monologue on health care and terrorism. I found it interesting that he’d put the two together, but I didn’t argue. It was entertaining, at the very least.
About the time the Honorable Mayor got to asking questions, I saw some movement among the darkly-suited men around the edge of the room that I had assumed were working security. They started sweeping the seats with their eyes; I could tell they were looking at faces. They seemed to settle on one guy in the middle of the right most section of chairs. They started talking back and forth and then fanned out around the back of the room. One of them over towards the left wall started fishing in his pocket for something, and came out with a handkerchief. It looked monogrammed, but I was a bit far away to see it in any detail.
“And so we will rise to that challenge, as Americans, as a nation not divided by..” the Mayor was going on about something really important, but I was positive what was happening in that room was more important than foreign policy right now. As the agent over on the left wall went to put the kerchief back in his pocket, I saw the insignia, a dark grey D and a green F overlapping. Delta Force.
I knew I had to get the guy they were watching out of there safely. His life depended on it. These Delta Force guys don’t quit, and they wanted this guy for something. I was briefly concerned where the secret service was, and how they had been subdued without anyone noticing, but after thinking about it, I decided that plot holes weren’t worth contemplating.. there was evil afoot.
The agents tightened their perimeter, slowly and cautiously. As far as I could tell, the target had no idea he was in danger. I scanned the room quickly - there wasn’t any way out without going through at least two Delta agents. I looked around the stage the mayor was on. He wasn’t being protected in close proximity.. maybe I could grab the guy and get behind the stage.. there had to be a door there, as that’s where Giuliani had come from. There would likely be agents back there, too. I started to panic for the guy. There was nothing I could do without sacrificing myself as well. My stomach tightened, and I started to get cold. I needed to do something – anything – for this guy, but there were no options. He was going to die, and I was going to be helpless to stop it.
One agent walked down the aisle and stopped at his row. I couldn’t believe how brazen they were being. I knew these guys were ruthless, but right here, in front of everyone? Most people, even people in that immediate area, were still focused on the candidate. “In fact, if they did say that in that report, then they’re wrong. It’s important that we know that the State department has an obligation to the American people to..” he continued his message. I watched, horrified, but unable to turn away as the agent scooted past people in the row of seats to end up right next to the target. The man, whose fate was now sealed, turned up to look at the agent, and he knew it as well as I did. It was over.
Everything at that point happened in slow motion. The agent bent down towards him, no emotion present at all in the steel grey eyes of the trained killer. He reached into his jacket, and paused for a second, as he must have been getting a better grip on his sidearm, or maybe it was stuck in the holster he was using. He started to slowly move his hand out of his jacket, but it was behind the target’s head, so I couldn’t see it. I braced for the gunshot and the consequential screams. I winced, and heard “Sir, you seem to have dropped your wallet in the lobby. Here it is. Have a good night.” Then, like the well-trained operative he was, he walked out of the row, down the aisle, and the rest of them pulled back, resuming their original positions around the wall.
I sat in stunned silence. They didn’t kill him. I sat back in my chair, blinked, and then took a bite of my sugar cookie with a pie chart of Pentagon spending waste on it. It wasn’t a very tasty cookie.
Once the Honorable Mayor had answered his last question of the evening, the emcee cranked out Rascall Flatts’ verion of “Life is a Highway,” as the mayor shook hands and made his way towards the door. As we filed out the back of the room, and walked away, one of the agents winked at me.
I just kept on walking.
14.6.07
The Wedding Crashers
On Saturday, June 9, I was married to the love of my life, Danielle. I figured I’d share some of the details of this special day with you. I arrived at Atkinson Country Club at 10:00 in the morning with my best man, Josh Drumm. There was a low-hanging fog around the main clubhouse where the reception was to be held. The fog and the morning quiet added an ominous feel to the cool morning.
It felt good when I stepped out of the car. My previous 60 day stint in jail for not paying my excise tax was behind me, and I was about to trade my freedom for love, very unlike what happened in jail. The warden said he loved me, but he didn’t mean it, because he never let me blog from prison. I tried to cry a lot and claim that I was a celebrity, but he still wouldn’t let me leave. Danielle, on the other hand - I was pretty sure she meant that she loved me. I went inside, never noticing the Sikorsky above.
I took a quick walk around the facility. I had never been there before, so I thought it would be wise to acclimate myself to the building. I found the bathrooms, and then the other bathrooms before finally locating the third set of bathrooms. I proceeded towards my Groom’s suite so that I could use a different bathroom. I found the soaps to be of varied sizes and shapes, but they smelled funny, like Lewis Black.
My tuxedo fit like a glove, except that it had a jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, socks, and cufflinks, but no gloves. I put it on anyways, and then headed out to hang out with the rest of my groomsmen. I came out to find them all sitting around talking in hushed tones. I headed over to chat with them, but Doug got up to meet me.
“Steve, I don’t know how to say this, but uh.. well.. I’ll just come out and say it,” Doug was stammering, I knew something was wrong. “Remember at the Rehearsal on Thursday, when Delta Force showed up?”
“Yeah, they were on a recon mission,” I remembered the camouflaged elite soldiers all around the gazebo. “But they should be long gone by now.”
“Well, Steve, they’re not gone. Delta Force is back, and they’re prepping for an assault. I’m sorry, man, but it looks like if you want to get married today, you’re going to have to fight for it.” He turned around hand handed me a Heckler & Koch MP5. “Be careful,” he said “NATO rounds are expensive. Good luck, man.”
I regarded my groomsmen once again, and saw they knew what I had known the instant I heard the name of that elite group of soldiers: there would be no marital joy today, just death and destruction.
“Hey! It’s starting to rain outside,” James was pointing out the window towards the few gentle drops of water cascading from the sky. I looked past the rain, and saw a rustling in the bushes. It wouldn’t be long with the rain, I knew. As the precipitation picked up, I knew their fate was sealed. If there’s one thing that the most highly trained, elite group of soldiers is afraid of, it’s a light rain. It feels all gross when your outside in flak jackets and assault gear and you get wet, and they HATE feeling 'all icky.'
I walked outside under the awning with my MP5 and switched off the safety. I looked around and set the weapon down on the railing. This fight was over -there would be no bloodshed today. I heard the helicopter spin up, and saw it start to lift from the extraction point. It banked left and flew down the 18th hole fairway before dipping over the rolling hills of the Atkinson Country Club’s championship course.
“Hey, there!” I turned around to see Sandra, our wedding coordinator smiling behind me. “Since it’s raining, we thought we’d move the ceremony inside to the Farview side of the ballroom.” I nodded my assent and rolled my neck from side to side. “Guests are being seated, so you may as well head on down. We’ll be getting started shortly.” I turned around to see Derek heading downstairs to start escorting, his M16 still slung over his shoulder. I called over to him, and while he didn’t acknowledge me he must have heard, because the next time I saw him, he was unarmed.
I turned to Josh who looked me up and down. “Show time,” he had the smirk of victory on his face. We headed downstairs, and took our place beside Jed, the pastor from our church who was performing the wedding.
The ceremony and reception were both beautiful, and except the ninjas and that one giraffe, went amazingly smoothly. We had a great time, and seeing all our friends and family together to celebrate our marriage was truly heartwarming.
A great big special thanks to everyone who could make it.
We’re off to our honeymoon in a few days, but there’s been some rumoring of increased Delta Force presence in the region. It rains every afternoon, though, so I don’t expect a problem.
It felt good when I stepped out of the car. My previous 60 day stint in jail for not paying my excise tax was behind me, and I was about to trade my freedom for love, very unlike what happened in jail. The warden said he loved me, but he didn’t mean it, because he never let me blog from prison. I tried to cry a lot and claim that I was a celebrity, but he still wouldn’t let me leave. Danielle, on the other hand - I was pretty sure she meant that she loved me. I went inside, never noticing the Sikorsky above.
I took a quick walk around the facility. I had never been there before, so I thought it would be wise to acclimate myself to the building. I found the bathrooms, and then the other bathrooms before finally locating the third set of bathrooms. I proceeded towards my Groom’s suite so that I could use a different bathroom. I found the soaps to be of varied sizes and shapes, but they smelled funny, like Lewis Black.
My tuxedo fit like a glove, except that it had a jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, socks, and cufflinks, but no gloves. I put it on anyways, and then headed out to hang out with the rest of my groomsmen. I came out to find them all sitting around talking in hushed tones. I headed over to chat with them, but Doug got up to meet me.
“Steve, I don’t know how to say this, but uh.. well.. I’ll just come out and say it,” Doug was stammering, I knew something was wrong. “Remember at the Rehearsal on Thursday, when Delta Force showed up?”
“Yeah, they were on a recon mission,” I remembered the camouflaged elite soldiers all around the gazebo. “But they should be long gone by now.”
“Well, Steve, they’re not gone. Delta Force is back, and they’re prepping for an assault. I’m sorry, man, but it looks like if you want to get married today, you’re going to have to fight for it.” He turned around hand handed me a Heckler & Koch MP5. “Be careful,” he said “NATO rounds are expensive. Good luck, man.”
I regarded my groomsmen once again, and saw they knew what I had known the instant I heard the name of that elite group of soldiers: there would be no marital joy today, just death and destruction.
“Hey! It’s starting to rain outside,” James was pointing out the window towards the few gentle drops of water cascading from the sky. I looked past the rain, and saw a rustling in the bushes. It wouldn’t be long with the rain, I knew. As the precipitation picked up, I knew their fate was sealed. If there’s one thing that the most highly trained, elite group of soldiers is afraid of, it’s a light rain. It feels all gross when your outside in flak jackets and assault gear and you get wet, and they HATE feeling 'all icky.'
I walked outside under the awning with my MP5 and switched off the safety. I looked around and set the weapon down on the railing. This fight was over -there would be no bloodshed today. I heard the helicopter spin up, and saw it start to lift from the extraction point. It banked left and flew down the 18th hole fairway before dipping over the rolling hills of the Atkinson Country Club’s championship course.
“Hey, there!” I turned around to see Sandra, our wedding coordinator smiling behind me. “Since it’s raining, we thought we’d move the ceremony inside to the Farview side of the ballroom.” I nodded my assent and rolled my neck from side to side. “Guests are being seated, so you may as well head on down. We’ll be getting started shortly.” I turned around to see Derek heading downstairs to start escorting, his M16 still slung over his shoulder. I called over to him, and while he didn’t acknowledge me he must have heard, because the next time I saw him, he was unarmed.
I turned to Josh who looked me up and down. “Show time,” he had the smirk of victory on his face. We headed downstairs, and took our place beside Jed, the pastor from our church who was performing the wedding.
The ceremony and reception were both beautiful, and except the ninjas and that one giraffe, went amazingly smoothly. We had a great time, and seeing all our friends and family together to celebrate our marriage was truly heartwarming.
A great big special thanks to everyone who could make it.
We’re off to our honeymoon in a few days, but there’s been some rumoring of increased Delta Force presence in the region. It rains every afternoon, though, so I don’t expect a problem.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)